This might not be the friendship it used to be.And maybe it’s no longer one that fits who you are now.
Let me just say this: It’s okay to ask these questions. It’s okay to outgrow people or to simply grow in different directions.
Not all friendships are meant to last forever. And the hardest ones to let go of are often the ones that he history, but no longer he harmony.
I’ve mourned friendships that went from feeling like sisters to strangers.I’ve had friends in my life who I no longer speak to, even though just a few years ago I was a member of their bridal party.
When I call someone a close friend, in my heart I see them in my life forever. Which is why I rarely saw these friend breakups coming.
What I’ve come to understand is that as humans, we are constantly evolving. That means sometimes a friendship doesn’t always fit us perfectly forever. That doesn’t mean we’re unhealthy or selfish. It just means this is an uncomfortable but very real part of life.
How Do You Know When It’s Time to End a Friendship?There’s rarely one big, cinematic moment that tells you it’s over. More often, it’s a series of small aches that eventually become impossible to ignore.
If you’re trying to figure out whether it’s time to step away from a friendship, here are a few signs to tune into:
1. You Feel Small Around ThemYou might lee your time together second-guessing yourself. Maybe they make subtle digs or mask judgment as “just being honest.” You find yourself shrinking, editing what you say, keeping your wins to yourself, or walking on eggshells.
Friendships should feel like exhaling. If you’re always holding your breath, it’s worth asking why.
2. Your Values Don’t Line Up AnymoreMaybe it was easy to overlook at first. But over time, you’ve noticed how they talk about people makes your stomach turn. Or how they handle conflict or ethics doesn’t sit right with you anymore.
You don’t need to agree on everything, but shared values are what make a friendship feel safe and solid—not shaky.
3. You’re the Only One Doing the WorkYou’re always the one who initiates, plans, checks in, keeps the peace. Even when you speak up, nothing really changes.
Friendships don’t he to be 50/50, but they should feel mutual. If you’re carrying it all on your shoulders, resentment is inevitable.
4. A Boundary Was Crossed and DismissedYou were honest. You explained what hurt, and what you needed. And they brushed it off. Maybe they made it about them, or said sorry but never actually changed.
Trust is built in the follow-through. If someone keeps showing you that your comfort doesn’t matter, believe them.
5. You Don’t Feel Like You AnymoreThis one’s subtle but powerful. Around them, you might become someone you don’t really like. Maybe you gossip more. Maybe you stay quiet when something feels wrong. Maybe you revert to an old version of yourself.
If a friendship doesn’t allow you to grow—or forces you to regress—it might be time to lovingly step away.
6. You Dread Interacting with ThemIt sounds harsh, but it’s real. You see their name on your phone and your body tenses. You make excuses to cancel. The joy is gone and guilt has taken its place.
A healthy friendship isn’t built on obligation. It’s built on mutual care, presence, and joy.
7. You’ve Tried… and It’s Still Not WorkingYou’ve had hard conversations. You’ve taken space. You’ve tried. But nothing’s changed.
Sometimes, even when you do everything right, a friendship still doesn’t work. That’s not failure. That’s clarity.
Questions to Ask YourselfIf you’re in the messy middle, unsure whether to hold on or let go, ask yourself:
Does this friendship still feel like home—or has it become a place where I no longer feel safe?
Do I feel like my full self around them?
If I met them today, would I choose them again?
What part of me is trying to stay, and what is that part afraid of?
Am I staying out of love, or out of guilt, fear, or habit?
What would I tell someone I love if they were in this situation?
You don’t he to know the answers all at once. Just be honest with yourself.
You’re Allowed to Walk AwayLetting go of a friendship doesn’t mean you’re heartless. It doesn’t mean the love wasn’t real. It means you’re honoring who you are now—and what you need.
💛 You’re allowed to choose peace💛 You’re allowed to grow💛 You’re allowed to close a chapter, even if it once meant everything to you
And if you’re in the thick of this, just know: I’ve been there too. It’s tender. It’s confusing. It’s heartbreak in slow motion. But you’re not alone.
If you’re grieving a friend breakup, I wrote more about that [in this blog here]. It’s full of ideas to help you process, heal, and feel less alone.
With love,Therese 💛
P.S. If you'd like more support on this topic, like how to actually he a friend breakup conversation or more ways to cope with the aftermath, let me know. I’m always listening and always open to sharing more.